Doctor Who and the Krikkitmen by Douglas Adams & James Goss

Author:Douglas Adams & James Goss [Adams, Douglas & Goss, James]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Science Fiction, Humor
Published: 2018-01-17T23:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

PARLIAMENT OF FOOLS

The Parliament of the Elders of Krikkit was the kind of building you’d expect it to be. Grand grey pavilions led to a central building which thought highly of itself. The building’s smugness expressed itself in more concrete columns than were strictly necessary. The Parliament clearly hoped that people would describe it as an edifice, or, at the least, as formidable.

The Doctor and Romana were wearing cloaks, in the hope that this would stop people from pointing and hissing in their direction. The Rebels were flitting dramatically from shadow to shadow in the colonnades.

‘I think this may be their first guerrilla raid,’ Romana whispered to the Doctor, who nodded. ‘Still,’ she continued, ‘I don’t think we’re in much danger. K-9 says there are no life signs in the building.’

‘Of course not.’ The Doctor pretended not to be pleased. ‘It’s after hours. The Krikkitas are notorious about their timekeeping.’

‘But that doesn’t seem quite right.’ Romana pulled at the hood on her cloak and wondered if it would look nice trimmed with gold braid. ‘After all, if they have got a Supernova Bomb in there …’

‘Paff.’ The Doctor shrugged. ‘As far as they know, their rebellion is mostly academic theory and disgruntled veterans. That lot would have trouble organising a farmer’s market. They don’t know we’re here.’

‘What about the several thousand people who chased us through the city?’

‘Hmm,’ the Doctor conceded. ‘Perhaps we should expect trouble.’

They neared the front of the Parliament. The rebels creeping stealthily in phalanxes to the door, the Doctor and Romana crunching over the gravel.

‘What worries me is the Krikkitmen,’ Romana said. ‘I mean, shouldn’t we be doing something about them? I could borrow the TARDIS and …’

The Doctor held up a hand. ‘The last time my TARDIS was borrowed it was by me, and look how that played out. I dread to think what the overdue fines are. No, we’re going to sort out the planet of Krikkit first. The Krikkitmen can only be told to stop by their own creators; no one else will do. And besides, if they have built a Supernova Bomb, then the invasion of the Krikkitmen is simply the prawn cocktail before a truly dreadful main course.’

They walked on a bit. The grand granite doors of the Parliament of the Elders of Krikkit had been lovingly carved with scenes from the devastating conflict. Krikkitmen sliced their way through various alien races. Suns exploded. Battle fleets disintegrated.

‘They do harp on about past glories.’ The Doctor tried the door. It was locked. He produced his sonic screwdriver.

‘There’s another reason why you want me here,’ Romana said.

‘Oh, is there?’ The Doctor started whistling.

‘You might not trust me. What if the Krikkitmen are still controlling my mind?’

The Doctor stopped whistling abruptly. ‘It would make it easier to find out what they were up to.’

‘You’re worried about me, aren’t you?’ Romana grinned.

The Doctor poked the sonic screwdriver into the lock. It buzzed furiously.

‘That’s touching,’ Romana said. ‘I’m grateful.’

‘Are you? That’s nice.’ The Doctor rattled the door.

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